What we are eating,and what's eating us!!!! Monday..

Darlene, You are too funny.  I work during the day time so I don't get to watch Dr. Phil.  Any discussion to try and make it better backfires miserably.  So I've come down to living for being grateful to see my grandkids and don't want to jeopardize that.  She has all the power.  Talking to my son made it worse. Thanks for the help though. Bev

Wow, she sounds like a winner...damn!!! Just enjoy the babies, I guess she wants you invisable. Maybe one day she will feel what she gives off. Finals!! Whoa Nelly!! You will do well I am sure.  I hope you enjoy your day. I am wearing my sisters rosary for added spiritual support today... I am trying to stay strong, just as you are! Hugs!

Hi Bev, my 2 cents...I think your DIL is fearful of not meeting your expectations so she is trying to stall or shorten your visit. She probably knows how special you are in your son's eyes so she is afraid of not measuring up. This is selfish on her part and she should be thinking of her husband and children. You probably never gave her any indication of expectations but she assumes. I would just go as planned and be as sweet as ever, this is her problem. Your son may pick up on this himself and convey this to her later after your visit. You are a wonderful person and no one can take that away from you. Have a great day! Alice

Hi Alice, Thanks - I am trying to take the high road.  I popped a check for $50.00 for food into the mail this morning so we wouldn't be a burden on their budget.  What I've told here is only the tip of the iceburg.  Sometimes she is just plain mean.  We went there the same weekend as my birthday last Sept. (Labor Day) and I left knowing it was the worst birthday I had in my 54 years.  Oh wait, to have the worst birthday, someone has to even acknowledge it's your birthday! Didn't even get a Happy Birthday from my son that day.  And my husband was no better.  An offhanded over the shoulder while we were driving away - oh yeah, happy birthday.  I'm getting kind of tired with always leaving there hurt.  Then my Mom, who was with us, tells me later that while my Mom was sitting right there on the deck with them, DIL had her friends consoling her on what an ordeal it was to have me there. They were assuring her that she would "Get through it".  I was out on the lawn playing with the kids.  Like my 79 year old Mother needed to hear that.  My Mom said, what, do they think I'm stupid?  Mom was insulted and hurt. It is draining.  I have definitely been bending over backwards trying to "kill her with kindness" and I will continue to do so but it just may kill me instead.   OK, I have to cut this out.  I can't get all worked up when I have to be nice to her for four days. Thanks for the support. Bev

Bev, just be proud that inspite of her horrible behavior you took the high road. She is very insecure and wants her husband all to herself.  You know deep inside that you are doing right, not her. I face this with my children. It was my birthday 2 wks ago and my son was the only child of 3 that recognized that. I try to live by the phrase..."expect nothing but be thankful for everything". Your reward will be in eternity for your love and compassion. I know that it does little for you now but you can feel good that you did what was right.  I wi**** were different for you now but we have no control of others' behavior. Maybe when her children di**** back to her someday, she'll wake up. Meanwhile know that you are loved and you are doing right. Alice

Hi there Linda, Hug hug. I'm sorry you are not feeling so hot. Hope the meds get figured out soon. Going to see the surgeon Friday for a checkup. Hoping I am at the lowest weight I have had as sometimes it jumps back and forth. I am 7 months out as of this past Saturday. Hard to believe. Never thought I would be here this time last year. I know I hoped but didn't really think it would happen so quick. Yay! Went to church and had a lady start to introduce herself to me until she realized it was me. She just about had a stroke! I have seen her several times but I don't think she realized it was me. Kinda cool. No menu changes but swapping out the meat and cheese rolls for cottage cheese as I am liking it lately. Can't bring my frozen fresh blueberries though cuz they will be all mushy and I like them frozen. Take care, Cheryl

Isn't it great seeing people's reactions? I had a bus driver who had not picked me up in a year, and he did not think I was me, he kept asking me my name...LOL. I am here for something girl, and my Father will keep me strong, no matter what, this I believe. Look at you!! It goes fast, you are changing, you are a butterfly.. Hugs!!!

Cheryl, What a great WOW moment.  You are doing terrific. Bev

Geeze Bev, Just got home from work. I know we are almost the same age or are the same but I wish I could of had a mother-in-law as smart, and funny and kind as you. I have always thought you seem to be an wonderful lady. I'm not just saying that either! Some people, as my husband calls them, are DOPES. She sounds like one. Take Care, Cheryl

Hi Cheryl, Thanks so much.  You are all such terrific people.  You make me laugh, cry and think and I love everyone for it.  It is so nice to be around OFFers because they are real people who care about each other.  It's so easy to let my guard down and open up around all of you and the other caring people on this board.  It means so much especially now that I can't eat to stuff my feelings down.  My family tells me that "it's all about her and that she is selfish".  Unfortunately, knowing it's her and she is selfish doesn't help much when she is tearing me down.  It's funny you say that about wishing I was your MIL.  Several women I know from being a cub scout leader have offered to let their children be my grands and them my DIL. LOL. I pray to the good Lord above that someday her eyes will be opened.  Because I can forgive everything for a good relationship. Take care, Bev